Blending In....

Let's set the scene, shall we? Date: National Margarita Day (aka Feb. 22) Time: Half Past Tipsy (about 10pm) Location: Random Mexican Restaurant with sketchy bar in the basement (but serves fabulous margaritas and chips btw).

So there I am at the bar with my girlfriends chatting, sipping, crunching, shmoozing, the whole deal. I'm literally wearing a beanie, skinny jeans, casual t-shirt and wedges....super casual (and adorable if I might add). So down the creeky, windy, Mexican tiled staircase comes suburban Cinderella. She wore a white lace, knee length dress, a white fur shrug, brown cowboy boots, gold disk earrings and a sock bun...and a cute watch...forget the watch. Honestly, I felt bad. Maybe she had come from somewhere and wanted to stop in for a last second National Margarita Day drink? But it was only 10pm...But why was her friend so casual? WHY is she wearing all white? ...The only events that are socially acceptable to wear all white to are 1. Your Wedding Day 2. Sorority Initiation. People were staring, she was clearly uncomfortable, we were all uncomfortable. I need answers.

It's a bird it's a plane

It's Jack the Ripper?

Everything about this screams death, sadness, bird funeral, mourning...basically anything other than chic fur coat. Coco can't even. 

Coco can't even....

I don't even know where to begin with this ensemble. I was surprised to not see this outfit in the police blotter when I purchased the Sunday paper just moments later because this woman has committed a serious fashion crime...I practically choked on my iced coffee and could have really used her cloth skirt to clean up the mess that would have been made. I'm writing this because coco can't even, just can't. On such a beautiful fall day, how could anyone even think of such a nauseating combination. She lost me at what seems to be thick pedal pushers rolled above the knee...I can only pray those are for poor circulation issues. Let's just ignore the dark brown peep toe wedges that were just....Just. We move to the tweed, loin cloth skirt with a fringed hemline that was possibly an entry way rug used by my early ancestors. She then topped it off with a brown tank, untucked and pulled down. Probably to hide her heinous skirt. Then tied it together with a braided brown belt...she would have been better off with a bow. And let's not forget this award winning beaded, satin purse whose trend died out long ago with the Chinese slippers that were sold on the streets of NYC in the 90's. My dear Coconuts, my loyal readers, I present to you my first fashion crimester. Assuming she just left church, I will name her "the sinner".