A slow clap that no one joins into...

In the movies...someone starts a slow clap that is supposed to turn into an applause and then no one joins in and it's super awkward and they sit down...that's how I feel about this outfit.

She gave this a valiant effort. I will applaud that. And then I am sitting down.

White on white is a tough look to pull off. You can end up looking super Hamptons-chic or like marshmallow. With those pants, I am saying no to this shirt. A (white) tucked in blouse with a belt would allow these pants to shine. A simple heel would be the way to go here. Maybe a heel with a splash of color or a statement necklace. Neon heels are never a good idea. 

You can't sit with us.

Bye Felicia...

xoxo

Coco

Just (don't) Do it - a nike memoir

Sneakers

I love wearing them. 

I love that they are trending.

I hate this outfit.

    -a Haiku by Coco

Honestly though, sneakers are great. I can openly embrace my tomboy, workout-aholic style in public and still be considered fashion-forward (<<not really but whatever). This outfit though, is extreme(ly bad). She could have went with simple white Keds or a flat sandal..why oh why baby blue nike trainers with a lavender and black paisley spaghetti strap skater dress?! It just...it's mind boggling.

Possibilities: for the sake of the benefit of the doubt

   - she came from a soccer game to get lunch and forgot appropriate shoes

   - color blind (total possibility)

   - blind in general (doubtful though since she is looking at a cell phone...)

EASTER EGG: 

   - she is wearing a ring...engaged? married? just an accent piece?

We'll never know...

xoxo

Coco

It's a bird it's a plane

It's Jack the Ripper?

Everything about this screams death, sadness, bird funeral, mourning...basically anything other than chic fur coat. Coco can't even. 

Double Trouble

We all know the trend of the century, leggings and Uggs. And like all fashions trends, there is a right way and a wrong way to wear them. Before I even MENTION the socks, let's just clarify that wearing barely there leggings and cropped top/hoodie is NEVER the right way to go, no matter how skinny you are. In addition, the drug referenced school girl peep socks do not exaclty help their image. We get it, you're "young, wild, and free". In all fairness, we've all made mistakes in the name of highschool "coolness"...I mean I haven't...but people have...so Coco cuts them some slack.

Reoccurring Disasters: part one of many

Part one should have been the Chinese Slipper from a previous post but like whatever. So...ankle biters. I see them all the time and I just want to yell at people and I purposely stare because I want them to feel as uncomfortable as their pants are making me. Ankle biters, by definition, are longer than capris, wannabe flood pants. They are unnatural and uncomfortable and flaunt your ankles. Even worse, when your ankles aren't catching a cold, they expose your hello kitty, rainbow socks that is just a cock block all in itself. Ladies, coconuts, take a second before your leave your house and make sure your pants fit. If you're flaring above the ankle, toss em.

Xoxo coco

Jean fail

Words such as joutfit and jorts have become a part of our vocabulary. But what about japron or jurse? Well coconuts, they sound as unnatural as they look and the prime example is above. It's bad enough that the material is a washed out dad jean, but it's being used as, dare I say it, some sort of jean sack/purse but doubles as an apron. I actually can only look at this picture with one eye open. Photocred to my sister who had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting this creature in person. Brb gonna vom. 

Coco