Sparkle and Please Fade

If it is cold enough to wear Ugh (UGG) boots, why are you in shorts?  

I do approve, however, of her long mermaid hair.

Imagination

For the sake of anonymity and subtly, the front view of this darling outfit was not photographed.

 'Twas a lovely early dinner along the Delaware River with the family. Drinks were in hand, conversation was brewing and we were noshing on calamari, burgers and fish tacos. Yes, fish tacos. We were dressed appropriately and fashionably, donning maxi dresses, floppy hats, and khakis for the gents. It was near time to move to the bar, which was when we saw the outfit. Granted the town of New Hope is trendy, spunky, and diverse, there is a place and time for such apparel. For example, the Firefly Festival, Coachella, Sundance...basically any festival really...concerts, Fourth of July, etc. etc. Moral of the story, butt cheeks, bare bellies, and cleavage should be saved for the beach, not dinner time. Save the buns for the burgers.

That is all.

xoxo Coco

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to see it, did it make a noise?

The answer is yes. The tree did make a noise and this lady's outfit did in fact exist even though there is no photo evidence.

So there I was at the office just minding my own business, directing the usual customer traffic, when there I saw it. It was like seeing a unicorn from the story books except she was a magical creature whose identity was textbook "what not to wear".

I didn't want to stare and scare her off; I peered from my peripherals, examining intensely, wishing I had my cell phone.

Where to begin. Her feet were snug in her light grey Crocs, bedazzled with charms (the most noticeable one was a monkey). Peering through the cracks of her Crocs (say that ten times fast) and from under her flood pant/mom jeans, glowed her rainbow striped socks. Rainbow. Striped. Socks. She wore a dull, yellow Ralph Lauren sweater and had a brightly patterned floral Vera Bradley backpack that hung off one shoulder.

The magical creature danced off out of the store, hopefully never to be seen again.

The 90's called, they want their platforms back

"OMG Mel B, can I have your autograph?" "Oh wait, I'm sorry, you mean you're wearing black leather platform boots and you're not a Spice Girl?" End scene.

One of the biggest mistakes trend "followers" make is that they apply one trend to ALL styles and situations. They take it and run with it. For example: Sock bun out to dinner? yes. At the gym? no. Literally running with it. SO...when you say platforms are making their debut again since the 90's, get this (in black, NOT in camo obvs) and not this.

Get edgy, not grungy. Get fabulous, not frumpy.

Black trench coat, rando backpack and 90's knee high Magic Mike meets Spice Girls belt buckle boots...no.

It's An Outfit, Duh

I never shop for "outfits", I shop with pure A.D.D. I grab what I like, purchase it, and pray it matches something I have at home. It's as if I black out as soon as I walk through the store front. I'm seeking help. But anyways, clearly the other day at the mall my inner self was determined to buy the perfect summer concert outfit. I'm patting myself on the back. You go (Glenn) coco. Mean girls, anyone?

Zoolander

Who doesn't love men's fashion? My model, Simon, was kind enough to strike his best Zoolander pose for me so I could capture his more casual, hipster outfit. Men's apparel has so many options and Simon knows exactly how to switch it up. Today he rocked his thick frames, dark washed jean vest and leather sleeved zip up sweatshirt. He paired this with simple khakis, steel toed boots and topped it with a casual yet oh so chic wool trapper cap. It may seem simple to the eye but the combinations are trendy and fun. Keep it up Simon. 

Xoxo coco 

Jean fail

Words such as joutfit and jorts have become a part of our vocabulary. But what about japron or jurse? Well coconuts, they sound as unnatural as they look and the prime example is above. It's bad enough that the material is a washed out dad jean, but it's being used as, dare I say it, some sort of jean sack/purse but doubles as an apron. I actually can only look at this picture with one eye open. Photocred to my sister who had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting this creature in person. Brb gonna vom. 

Coco

Throwbacks are for Instagram

Let's break this bad boy down, shall we. Purple jean skirt (check), pedal pushers with lace (check), black juicy look-a-like zip up (check). Not to mention, with the flip flops in October, not so cute messy bun, and generic cotton striped shirt, this girl did it ALL wrong. It's like she went back to the 90's and went through all my old sleep away camp clothes and woke up in 2013. Donate those clothes girlfriend and save the throwbacks for IG. 

xoxo Coco