Double Trouble

If you follow my IG then you've already seen this pic (sigh...) but it is certainly worth a second look. These bathing suits actually fit. No side boob, no quadraboob, no nip slips <<hopefully. 

I got these online after much research and can be found super easily (now that I know what I am looking for). Jolidon, Janache and Freya swimwear gave me hope for this summer.

Israel and Aruba better watch out! I'm coming for ya!

xoxo Coco

Sparkle and Please Fade

If it is cold enough to wear Ugh (UGG) boots, why are you in shorts?  

I do approve, however, of her long mermaid hair.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to see it, did it make a noise?

The answer is yes. The tree did make a noise and this lady's outfit did in fact exist even though there is no photo evidence.

So there I was at the office just minding my own business, directing the usual customer traffic, when there I saw it. It was like seeing a unicorn from the story books except she was a magical creature whose identity was textbook "what not to wear".

I didn't want to stare and scare her off; I peered from my peripherals, examining intensely, wishing I had my cell phone.

Where to begin. Her feet were snug in her light grey Crocs, bedazzled with charms (the most noticeable one was a monkey). Peering through the cracks of her Crocs (say that ten times fast) and from under her flood pant/mom jeans, glowed her rainbow striped socks. Rainbow. Striped. Socks. She wore a dull, yellow Ralph Lauren sweater and had a brightly patterned floral Vera Bradley backpack that hung off one shoulder.

The magical creature danced off out of the store, hopefully never to be seen again.

Blending In....

Let's set the scene, shall we? Date: National Margarita Day (aka Feb. 22) Time: Half Past Tipsy (about 10pm) Location: Random Mexican Restaurant with sketchy bar in the basement (but serves fabulous margaritas and chips btw).

So there I am at the bar with my girlfriends chatting, sipping, crunching, shmoozing, the whole deal. I'm literally wearing a beanie, skinny jeans, casual t-shirt and wedges....super casual (and adorable if I might add). So down the creeky, windy, Mexican tiled staircase comes suburban Cinderella. She wore a white lace, knee length dress, a white fur shrug, brown cowboy boots, gold disk earrings and a sock bun...and a cute watch...forget the watch. Honestly, I felt bad. Maybe she had come from somewhere and wanted to stop in for a last second National Margarita Day drink? But it was only 10pm...But why was her friend so casual? WHY is she wearing all white? ...The only events that are socially acceptable to wear all white to are 1. Your Wedding Day 2. Sorority Initiation. People were staring, she was clearly uncomfortable, we were all uncomfortable. I need answers.

The midlife brisis

There is a new trend hitting the streets of NYC that I would like to call the midlife brisis (bra crisis).

Yes, I ran after them and snapped pics. I was in awe. It's like A) you're not 19 and hanging with your friends B) I don't even wear that unless it's a sheer cute top and I'm going to a bar C) like, what is your bra ?! Your bra shows your age ladies. And in this case, your lack of style and common sense. No words.